confusion..

hmmm...i'm feeling like i might need a change in career's. it's been a really, really rough four months, and i'm not sure this is where i am to be.

the kicker...is that i don't know where else i should be.

any good ideas?

i enjoy kids.
i love taking pictures.
i like traveling.
i have to work...i just bought a new car (and have a car payment).
i'd like to not work.
i need insurance.
i'd like to make a difference, but maybe in a different way.
i miss working with families.

hmmmmm....seriously, i don't know what to do.

here are the thoughts that have crossed my head today....
bank teller.
cruise ship photographer.
sears photographer.


hmmmm.....really. really.

and it all just makes me cry. blah.

i hate feeling like this. i must make a change, but change is hard.


if barack obama can change the world, so can i.

in my own way, in my own time........

what do you think, blog readers? where do you see me?

So, this is what we did this morning.....Kate and Aunt Emily.
We both put rollers in our hair all day long...Kate had the original sponge rollers that I used as a kid.
However, she had a choice of sizes (represented by colors) and we distributed them evenly.
We had so much fun this morning making curls, keeping the rollers in our hair all day.
Right before her dance recital, we took the rollers out...and she looked like Shirley Temple.
We had so much fun.



Isn't she sweet?

Kate wanted to show off her nails and our rollers at the same time. See, I had them in my hair too.

Fresh out of the rollers, she looked like Shirley Temple.

At the end of the process...we both had huge hair and curls.



We had such a fun time doing this!

my brother and sister in law's christmas kiddos...

A few of the snapshots from taking Kate, Will, and Andrew's Christmas Card Picture Time. It was fun...no, really, it was great. I should add my favorite of Andrew crying while Kate's smashing his head and Will's grabbing his fingers. It's hard being the baby.... :)

Aren't they beautiful children? I sure think so!

 

 

 

 

Andrew's First Haircut

My youngest nephew, Andrew, had his first haircut at 8 1/2 months this past weekend. I've been here for the first haircut for all of them..Kate at 2ish..and Will at 1ish. It was so fun. Andrew loved it. He just smiled and smiled. Here are a before, during, and after shot!

Sweet sweet boy.

one of THOSE days...

Do you ever just have one of those days?


Well, today was my day...and I had a mini-breakdown at work. It wasn't in front of a huge group, or really anyone except for my direct supervisor (for the moment). And, I had hidden it all so well (as well as I can hide it..) and then I just lost it. I started talking and the tears started flowing...and flowing..and flowing. I'm not sure what sparked it today, but it came like a waterfall. My eyes are still tired and burning...and it didn't help that we had a three hour long meeting afterwards to talk about the plans for the future.

So, we decided that it was now or never...I have to get over the past and move on to the future. I came to this place because I believe in it, and no one said it would be easy (guaranteed), but I never thought it would be as hard as it is now...

So, tomorrow is a new day...and I'm excited for the future. I'm excited to see what's going to happen...how I'm going to be a part of that..and I hope in a year I'll look back on this challenging time and know it was all to make me stronger. I'm going to sleep well tonight, perhaps with a cold washcloth over my eyes, take some tylenol to get rid of my headache, and wake up afreshed.

That is my prayer. No more crying eyes for me.




“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Deuteronomy 4:29


Am I expecting a living Jesus to be part of my life today? To see and understand what I am going through? Do I expect Him to make a difference in my circumstances? I’m afraid I often don’t see Him right there working in my life because I am not looking for a living Jesus but a distant, uninvolved one. I might pray to Him one moment, and completely forget to ask His help moments later. He may be right there guiding my steps but all I see are closed doors and disappointment.

When I am able to grasp that He is right here with me and He is alive and active in my life, then I more clearly hear His voice and see what He is doing. He is active. He can give me the strength I need to get through whatever the day holds. He is speaking to me.


I just need to REMEMBER this moment to moment.

he's three already..

I can't believe he's already three.....here's to Will (the middle nephew-at the moment) and all your glory.

A few things about Will from his Aunt Emily:

Will has the sweetest heart....and cares about everything.
Will has an amazing memory...and won't hesitate to ask you a question about something that happened three months ago.
Will loves to look at Christmas lights, and even Christmas ducks.
Will loves to play with you, and knows exactly how to pull your strings to get you to go outside...even when it's super cold.

Above all else, Will is an amazing little boy and I can't wait to watch him grow up as his Aunt Emily.

Hearing his sweet voice makes any day better. Hmmm..maybe I should have a regular conversation with him each day....

Happy Birthday buddy.

And, I picked a few snapshots from the weekend...including his older sister, Kate, and his younger brother, Andrew!

 

 

 

 

OMG

Look at this! I bought my first new car.....EVER!

I am so excited, and so blessed to be able to do this and know that I'm okay financially. I love it. I love it. I love it.

The first night I picked it up, I just wanted to drive it all around, and to show everyone too! It's perfect and it all worked out just perfectly.

I adore my new car!

It's soo pretty and I'm going to have to work really hard to take care of it, washing it, waxing it, etc...this will be around a looooong time. I've had my old Civic for 11 1/2 years....so this one will be with me for awhile!

Here are some snapshots I took with my phone.

I've been tagged!

It's been a few days since I've posted, eh?

I'm glad to know that *someone* likes to check my blog...and she loves my music selection too. Speaking of...I need to check it to make sure it still works and I don't need to add or change anything. I'll add that to my (neverending) task list! :)

So, I forgot about my friend, Lauren, tagging me awhile back....so I thought I'd give it a try. I don't know how successful I'll be, but I'll go ahead and try.

7 Random Things about Me

1. I can't stand to hear someone smack their gum....it drives me crazy. Just typing it and imagining it really makes me shiver, ya know...like nails down a chalkboard. EW.

2. I am quite OCD when it comes to organization, time management, task lists, etc.....but on occasion I just want to do nothing.....and sometimes it adds up and then it takes me awhile to get caught up. Note: I feel better when I stay on top of to-do lists, calendar's, scheduling, etc. I'll be super-duper thrilled when IT fixes my blackberry to sync with my work computer. I can't tell you how excited I am. :)

3. So, this friend, Lauren....she and I were roommates one time when we went to Band Camp. Yep, you heard me correctly...we went to Band Camp! Ha. I truly was a nerd. I had a huge crush on a boy named James. He played the Tuba! :)

4. I tend to over-exert myself and have a problem saying no. I'm working on it, really. I am doing better at taking time for myself each night instead of going from A to B to C to D to E to F and then starting over again! It's a joyous feeling.

5. I'm a thief. I love to find secret open unsecured wi-fi connections. Not really, but at my mom's house I had a server for sometime..and it was awesome. And then, the neighbors moved and I lost the connection. Coincidence. I think not! This is why I'm at Panera at the moment. Once again, thank goodness for my new blackberry. It's a lifesaver!

6. I love reading blogs. I love Google Reader. I actually have a ton of them in my Google Reader. I read photography blogs because I want to see awesome work. It's from reading these that I have been intrigued and feel compelled to always do better, to learn more, to seek information and to better myself in this area. I love taking pictures. I love capturing moments.

7. Okay...last random thing about me. I gave my college t-shirts to my stepmom two years ago...and for Christmas two years ago she was going to make a blanket. Funny story...I unwrapped the present, loved it, but it was unfinished. I still don't have that blanket. I think I'm going to ask for it again! :) I love it though. I know she's busy, but I think I might really ask for that again! I also think those individual coffee makers are soooo cool. The pods. I might ask for that too. (Maybe that could be another post...a Christmas list).


So.....for whoever reads this, I tag YOU!

how sweet the sound....

amazing grace...

It's hard for me to put into words how I feel, but I'm more proud than ever to be who I am, and believing in the hope of America. I pray that everyone will follow that path and they, too, will recognize the hope and the change this impact will have on them, their children, and the future.

I sat there on Election Night with goosebumps, sitting on the edge of my seat, tears streaming down my face....to know that a dream can come true. All things are possible. Bridges can be crossed. Barriers can be broken. Hearts can be healed.

Now is the time. Now is the time he needs our support. Please continue to support America, our President, and our Country. Pray for the President, for his wisdom and guidance and strength.

God Bless America.

I've been tagged..I'll post my goals later!

So, I was tagged by my friend to post the sixth picture in my file and tell it's story...and the funny thing...is that I have a ton of pictures, but not in my documents. I save them in a different place, then I back them up, burn them to CD's and then I take them off the computer once I'm finished with them. (I still have to do my goals, and one is to get an awesome, big desktop, that I can leave all my pictures on and not worry about.) Anywhoooooooo....I just cleaned out my my documents..and this is the sixth photographic image in it. This was taken at the Oklahoma City Bombing Memorial. I had just started my first Digital SLR Photography Class and I loved it. I had enjoyed it and learned so much..I have a series of photographs from this event (oh, just gave me an idea of something to enter for a church event) that I love..and this is just one!

Enjoy.... and I tag Chrissa and Lauren and Lacey.... I know those people read this blog!

So...I turned 30.....

What happened to me?

I've been beyond busy....and I think I'm going to be cutting back on few things...for my own sanity.

I will post some more tomorrow night...while I anxiously await the results of the Election, but I wanted to post a few quick pictures from my birthday celebration weekend in Oklahoma City with my friends. I have my goals for the next many years...and I'll write them out soon.

The first picture is at this place west of Oklahoma City...fried chicken and beer. It was awesome.

The second picture was in their backyard before they headed off to the OKC Philharmonic. We had a good evening that night. I took several shots of the cutest boy...and you can see them here!

See you again soon.....until then...I'm 30 and I think it finally hit me.

29 minutes left to be 29

So....29 more minutes to be 29. Ah.. how ironic is that! I just got home from a wonderful after work Happy Hour with the girls. Ah, so great. Really, they have made this work switchover so wonderful. We had a great time at a fancy little place on Brookside. And, the coolest thing..they all got there early, decorated the table, had three fresh cut roses from JuLee's garden, a chocolate birthday cake, and a great card! I never knew they could pull off such a surprise! It was awesome...

And, the kicker of tonight...1. I realized how much I like Woodchuck Amber beer and 2. I learned that JuLee was an Alpha Chi when I joined OCU Alpha Chi my freshman year! Small, small world! It was cool.

Anyhow, it's late..I'm tired...and I want to curl up and get warm before I go to bed...and I'll get to sleep in too! Fun times.

Today's been great...loved it. Tomorrow is full too...so some time I'm going to write down my goals....so you all know what I'm going to work on achieving soon.....

Much love, happy birthday to me in now 26 minutes!

A few things I've learned...

I've learned that the older I get, the more comfortable I become in my own skin.

I've learned that doing the right thing isn't always easy, but important.

I've learned that I don't have to settle. Ever.

I've learned that honesty is the best policy.

I've learned that I am worthy of significant relationships.

I've learned how to compromise, without compromising myself.

I've learned that I don't have to be perfect.

I've learned that I am an independent woman.

I've learned that being a good friend is as important as having a good friend.

I've learned that people you love will hurt you, and to make peace with it and move on.

I've learned to enjoy my famiy, they are invalueable.

I've learned that everyone won't like me, and that's okay.

I've learned that sometimes, even older brothers can be right.

I've learned that politics is a never good discussion for first dates.

I've learned that staying positive is relative to life.

I've learned that God is the most important part of my life.

I've learned that children are the greatest gift.

I've learned that being a supervisor can create challenges..but it's necessary to grow.

I've learned that letting go can be the most difficult thing.....ever.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 Days.....I had my first of many birthday dinners tonight. I'm as stuffed as a turkey bird. :) These are just a few thoughts of lessons I've learned...I know there are more, but my brain is tired! Plus, I'm full..so that makes me sleepy!

What have you learned?

I made it....WA HOO!!!!!

Wahoo...go to the Littlest Heroes website....and click on "Our Team" and scroll down to Oklahoma....guess who you see now..... yep, yours truly.

I seriously can't tell you how excited I am...I am thrilled beyond belief. I hope that I can make a difference with photography...I do I do I do!

in my next thirty years....

Tim McGraw has a song about the next thirty years...I was singing it in my head, but I couldn't figure out who it was until my friend Lacey asked me if I had heard of it...so I looked up the lyrics...and I might even add it to my music list. Anyhow, I think it's soooo true. It's something I'm going to work on...living life and enjoying my next thirty years. I don't have anything I've regretted the last thirty years, and I can't wait to share with you my thirty goals for the future! For a moment....here are the lyrics!

"I think I'll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it's time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I'm gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I've done
Maybe now I've conquered all my adolescent fears
And I'll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I'm gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I'm doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I'm gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I'll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here, in my next thirty years
In my next thirty years"

I'm walking on sunshine.....

A trip down memory lane for tonight.....oh, yes....I brought out the pictures! Good times! I beg your forgiveness now, they are taken with my camera...because I don't have a scanner...but I still thought it would be sooo fun! I had fun looking through pictures...I could do this all day!

Here's one of my brother and I....this was at Christmas time in Joplin at my Aunt Susan's house. What's funny about this picture, is that I remember it was shot with my stepmom's new Canon Rebel (the film version). I think I was in college at the time, maybe my last year (5) and was planning on what I was going to do after May....and my brother really does love me!

I meant for this one to be last, but after three years of blogging, I have yet to figure out this formatting. Blah. Anyhow...here's my church directory picture...it's me...and I think it's the best shot of me in a long time....

Alright...I'm thinking this is either 9th grade or 10th grade...I can't tell...and I didn't see anything written down on the back...so it's stricktly memory here (after all, I'm getting old!)

Ah...senior year at Enid High School. This was after the Awards Assessmbly in our senior year...and my very dear, dear, dear friend Peter. We ended up at OCU for two years together (before I moved to OSU!) Who just happened to stay one of my best friends forever....and is married to a wonderful woman, and just had a sweet baby boy that just makes me smile!
This picture...I have to give credit to Wess Gray....who actually took it. This was taken the year Robert went to college and I started High School...so I was a sophomore. And, it's funny...because Wess' daughter Nicci turned out to be an Alpha Chi sister of mine and is encouraging me in my own adventure of photography...small world!
Oh, those two little munchkins.....Ilze and Taylor. My little brother and sister on my graduation night! They were funnnnnnnnnny kids!
This was one during college....2000, when my brother married Karen, my most awesome SIL. She's become my best friend and I can't imagine life without her!
Awee...there's sweet little Emily as a baby. Probably 3..something like that! I was cute, now wasn't I!

Hayes Elementary...1st Grade..is my guess. This is one of my favorite school pictures...I LOVE it...so cute. so me.

Another one of my brother and I...skiing at Crested Butte..probably on Peach Tree lift. Oh what memories...and I'm glad my stepmom pulled me off that lift chair before I almost went back down!
6th Grade...Pictures with Karen Wilson's dog, Heidi. Fun times....and my dog, Wally, looks just like this, but smaller.
Junior High....with Georgie (the black dog) and Angel (the gray dog).....I was a dog person, always was and always will be!

So....that's my trip down my memory lane with a few snapshots....and it's funny...because I love blogging and I frankly don't think anyone but maybe my sister in law read this blog! :)

So, if you are here and read it.....drop me a line and leave me a note...if nothing else, sing me Happy Birthday...it's 4 days away!

I can see clearly now....

In this age, turning 30 isn't exactly easy....We can call it an end to my 20's meltdown.

The past few years ushered in an some unexpected feelings of panic, doubt and a woe-is-me attitude. Despite all the goals I had accomplished, or thought I was supposed to accomplish, I suddenly began to question prior decisions and worry about those I had yet to make.

After all, my 30th birthday is just around the corner. And the thought of turning 30 doesn't bring with it overwhelming joy, but a slight feeling of dread.

Surely I'm not about to enter one of the best decades of my life. So far, I have basically followed the script to the letter - college, career, marriage, & kids (minus the marriage part, and I only had Violet for a portion of a year). With 30 staring me down (Saturday is all too soon), what road will I take next? At this milestone, am I truly where I want to be and doing what I want to do?

Where is the "30s for Dummies" book when I need it?

What is success? Keep on keeping on...despite setbacks and obstacles.

No one has all of the answers or reaches every goal. I can't expect myself to do that either....the bottom line is that I constantly strive toward one.

Even if I'm not where I thought I'd be at 30....big deal. Everyone's life plan deviates off course at some point. What matters is that we make the most of the journey.

Now that I'm turning 30, I'm no longer afraid of what's in store. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow.

The start of the birthday week of blogging....

30 Skills Every Woman Should Have Before Turning 30

1. Hard boil an egg: I can totally do this one...I love hard boiled eggs!

2. Diplomatically tell Mom to butt-out: I think I have this power....

3. Ace a job interview: Just did it....landed the job!

4. Ask a man out: yeah, need some work on this one.

5. Send a thoughtful thank you note: got it covered!

6. Listen to a friend in need: I can do this one whenever they need it!

7. Ask for help: Not afraid to ask...

8. Effectively end an unhealthy relationship (romantic or platonic in nature): The best decision of my life!

9. Beautifully wrap a gift: as evidenced by Sarah's wedding present last weekend!

10. Say “no” gracefully: proof of the guy hitting on my this week...

11. Whip up a great dinner with the five items in her fridge: I can do it, most of the time.

12. Forget pleasing him, by 30 a woman should be able to tell her man exactly how to please her: eh, haven't been in a significant relationship in a looooong time.

13. Sew a button: I think I can, but I'd love a sewing machine.

14. Mix a kick-ass cocktail: I might need an instruction book, but I could do it.

15. Take off her bra without removing her shirt: This is getting a little risque!

16. Apply lip gloss in the dark: of course!

17. Balance her checkbook: My mom's a banker, she made me learn how!

18. Create a budget: Yep...that's what I'm trying to get better at now!

19. Find the best deal: That's what I'm working on with finding a car!

20. Negotiate a salary and/or pay raise: Just did it...got the new job..with a huge salary increase!

21. Read a map: I can...but I have directional intelligence too...( I'm confident, aren't I)!

22. Hail a cab: Never had to, but probably could!

23. Say something in French just for the hell of it: Je ne sais pas.

24. Apologize when she’s wrong: I don't want to. But I do.

25. Dress for her body type: I could do better, but I'm working on it.

26. Change a flat (or know whom to call to come change it): who ya gonna call?

27. Spot a fake (handbag, diamond, potential friend…): I've got it down!

28. Feign interest: think so....think so..

29. Know what to tip on a $25 dinner bill: yep....

30. Hold a baby (Hey, someone you know is bound to have one sooner or later): hello, resident expert!

~Taken from www.thefrisky.com~

i believe...

Now, more than ever.....I believe in this!

My three favorite people...

You know....I have a big birthday coming up in less than two weeks.
I'm going to be 30 years old.....and I'm trying to come up with some great ideas for some blog posts....
But, these are seriously my three favorite people and the BEST thing to happen to me!
I am blessed beyond belief to have my Sister-In-Law, Karen, as my best friend.
And, with that...came these three beautiful children.
I'm a little biased, but they are my favorites....and until I have my own.....they are number 1!

fun times at the fair!

Long time no post......I have no real reason other than the fact that I'm EXTREMELY busy these days......

But, here are some snapshots of when the kids came to visit for a week!


This is how excited Kate was to see Aunt Emily!


I was a little nervous after Will's smile turned into a glazed look on the teacup ride.....
This is the picture of pure happiness!


Here we are, the three of us...crummy lighting..but we ssqueezed into the ride together.
I think there's no greater joy than being Aunt Emily.

I just love Kate's new face....her daddy taughter her that!